it's 6:24 local time and i'm awake. i don't really need to be, but the Muse was talking to me and wouldn't let me sleep. i wonder, at times like this, how i ever lament not being "good enough" to do what i do. it's not as simple as that: good or bad, i have a desire within me to do this. i'm an artist and i want to create and sometimes that gets you up out of bed.

lately, since our move (did i tell you about that? yeah. we moved. to Tennessee.), i've been feeling downright awful about my lot in job-life. i've been sending out resume after resume after pitiful resume hoping that someone might take notice and try and afford me. until this week, it'd seemed pretty bleak: i'd had one interview weeks ago and didn't get the job. they were nice about it, so nice that i would definitely work for them again if i wanted the work, but at the time, in that frame of mind, it was very "let's just be friends, it's not you it's me."

then yesterday i got a call back. no telling if it will be solid, but at this point i'm not sure that it matters. i have been working my freelance gigs feverishly and my mind is poised on ways to get others. i've been combing the new town where we live for opportunities to expand. so the curse is basically sleeplessness until the Muse is satisfied that i've done what she wants me to do.

so here i am. i know a few of you would know what i'm talkin' about. much gratitude goes to Husband for turning out so much prodding and tolerating my stubborness. and oh, lord, can i be stubborn.

Posted by JP @ 03/08/2005 12:38 AM CST