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i wrote an entry yesterday and filled up the whole box and just closed the window when i was done with it. i've not been a good little blogger lately and i think it's because onatuesday needs a new dress. maybe later tonight.
i'm getting back into the swing of things. i decided that January was a "holiday recovery" month and that was the reason for my meager gym trips. this month, however, i'm trying to do better. it's all in tricking myself into going on days when i'd rather not, or tricking my brain into thinking about something else entirely while at the same time keeping my RPMs up.
it's so complicated being me.
i had an epiphany in the car last night leaving the gym; that's the wonderful thing about going. it gets your blood circulating and with that new blood in your brain comes clarity. the epiphany? why do i bitch about work all the time? how do i expect Bossman to act? i work for a FUCKING. UNIVERSITY.
i have always known this. from my days at this very same university working for a college's Dean or in the computer lab...this is how all people at universities behave. now, admittedly, there are two schools of thought for University employees. there are people like me who want the job to mean something down the line as a footnote on a resume. we work our asses off to make it everything that it can be in that respect. then, there are people like Bossman who know that this is the Dream Job. these people just want to do "the bare minimum" so that they avoid getting canned, and later, they can retire with the sweetsweet University retirement program, right on schedule.
so instead of chronicling Bossman's every movement, i will leave him to Karma. i will do the best job i can do so that i get a glowing recommendation when i do get out of here. i will tip my hate to The Man when i'm done with this place and take my TIAA-CREF retirement money to a competing employer.
and speaking of Karma, Bossman's been kissing my ass lately. that's right. he knows the rest of the people we work with know who does all the work. ME.
Replies: 1
jesus. I understand how frustrating that can be. it's always easier to scrutinize and criticize when your values and work ethic are much higher than those around you. but instead of spending so much frustrated energy wanting more from them, or demanding something noble from people, you can only accept that they will always be lazyasses and you cannot CHANGE that. and you just get to a point where you have to shrug and shake your head, then continue to work your ass off and not lose sleep over feeling guilty for compromising your integrity. and you can just laugh at his buffoonery and wash your hands of it when you're done... there's not much more you can do, is there?
oh but how good it will feel to finally say to yourself, (or out loud, if you choose) 'fuck off fuckers! keep sliding by... i'm going places!'
Posted by Jennifer @ 02/05/2004 07:40 PM EST
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